fated but not fated!

after a week of questioning myself and asking ppl around for opinions,

i may conclude that i m sticking to my current job.

by hook or by crook
in this love-hate relationship
with sweat, blood, tears

i.must.hold.on.

hold on for as long as i need to. not as long as i want.
i repeat. as long as i need to.

majority said 'go get transfer'.
but a particular friend of mine managed to convince me over lunch yesterday not to get transfer. just wait and see how things go within 6 mths, she said. shes a very wise friend, so her words do make sense. i will be occupied for 6 mths, therefore i will not be ACTIVELY searching for job. m too lazy d.

and i phoned HR HOD again for his verdict. i asked him what is my chances like if i wanna get transfer. he is too good and too nice to help me again to come up with reasons-to-tell-boss. one of the reasons is 'you go to temple, pray, hold the sticks and ask god to build up ur guts'. he could read my mind 'i know you still dont have guts. if you tell your boss, surely she will teaaar you apart'. hes funnny. he laughed when he picked up my call and said 'hello, siu chier' before i could greet him. he also mentioned to me just now on the 3rd vacant position in other department. haha. i didnt drop any hints last week that i wanna get out from my job scope badly.

so yeah. please put a smile on my face by giving encouragement words if you ever hear me whinning bout me-wanna-get-out-from-this-job.

from zero commitment to plentiful.

m going broke.

insurances.
unit trusts.
upcoming holiday expenses.
long term investments.
short term investments.

i need to sit down one fine day and draw up how much these babies are forking out from my bank account.

make sure i become rich in many many decades to come with all these commitments.

how many thousand days more am i living with economy rice or food for lunch?

*counting downnnnnnnnnnnn*

where to go?

i wanna go on a holz.

where to?

i dunno.

i shall check out airasia free ticket hrs later.

i miss london.

i must go there once more to rescue my huge empty luggage covered with layers of dusts from aunt's store room. she insisted to throw it away when she saw it.

if anyone of u going there, dont bring along a huge luggage. you can bring mine back.

;)

opportunity came!

i wanna get a transfer to another division.

i would like to try out but how to tell my boss and HR?

i guess boss will give me a look.

i went to HR to pass something. HR told me that there is/are vacancy(ies) in another department, and so happen the other-department lady was there. HR was like promoting and praising me to her.

i guess the jobscope is better than my current one.

ok the truth is i have been planning to resign since 845am just now and told colleague not to be suprise if i tender a resignation letter by this week. i made a fcuking big ass mistake that me.myself.and.i couldnt believe it. i was like wtfuking when i knew my mistake and waiting for boss to come to work is the most stressful moment today because i had to tell her my idiotic mistake. boss informed client and he is the best-of-the-bestest client ever, he said he will pay for my mistake. he said the matter is small. lossing usd1600 is small to him. i felt very guilty after apologizing to him and he would like to pay for it. boss told the client "my staffs will love you. if every clients are like you, this will be great".

i think GOD is sending a message to me.

so who should i approach first?

--------------------
shit USA market gonna open in 2 mins time. i shall log into my system to check whether i have keyed in correctly.

what should i do?

if u ask a girl who hasnt taken an exam for nearly 2 yrs, she would answer

"its a hell! i tried to calm down a night before by putting face mask, and thought that i would sleep after disposing it, hell no, i couldnt. i went to bed at 215am. and no! i couldnt sleep neither. i kept on tossing, turning and scolded myself for not being able to sleep. am i anxious? or fear of failing the paper?its MCQ! yes i know its MCQ, but the last time i had MCQ was during pre-uni. i guess it should be easy. hope so, now lets sleep. i think its 3am now . what am i gonna do? sleep alrite, be a good girl. dum dee dum dee... i think its 4am now, and i gotta get up at 7am. ooh great, you better sleep. dum dee dum dee..... did i sleep? dum dee dum dee. its time to wake up. did i ever sleep? "

things turned out bad before i stepped into the examination waiting area.

1st - i roughly know the exam place, not a VERY clear picture of the direction.

2nd - i nearly met an accident, it was very very close.

3rd - drove passed the exam building and kept on driving along the road. and its heading to bangsar shit. and i know its wrong to U-turn at a hilly road.

4th - security man wanted to check the car boot, and how on earth to open it.

5th - where on earth to register myself. the building spaces is so huge and where are the other candidates besides seeing 5 employees there.

all these funny obstacles paid off. i rather go thru these and getting a 'failed'. i should do a good deed this week to pay it off.

----------------------------------------------------------------

m tired. but i still gotta study some shits all over again. u know string of examinations kinda thingy.

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i went to HR today to get something, and it does freak you out if the HOD HR saw you and would like to chat with you. he drew out some frameworks and telling me that i can be my-own-boss. hes pulling me into a newly established division whereby all i need to do is do sales (ummm.. yea sales) by getting RM500,000 sales per month from a client. and i can shake my legs for the next 11 mths.

yes RM500k. per month. a client.

you can have training for 3 months only and after that, you dont need to enter office. you can work from home which i replied "i will be lazier by staying at home".

i told him "let me get a Dato' or Dato's son first". Maybe I will be in that division 5 yrs from now."

i really dunno how to get that amount of sales. its not easy shit.

---------------------------------------------------------

does vampire ever exists?

thumbs up to my new addiction -

THE VAMPIRE DIARIES

i havent been watching an american series for about 2 yrs.
and i should be studying till my ass drop now because equity exam is this tues.
make sure i pass my ass in it since i have read the whole book. i just gotta nail in some exercises and formulas.
the exam is done in the computer, just like how our driving theory exam works.

there are 2 papers for equity, and m taking one first.
s.t.e.p.b.y.s.t.e.p.
high chances that i neeeed to take futures exam, also 2 papers. ooh because *i hate to think bout this*. because my colleague needs to get off from work before 530pm, meaning she CANT stay back. and if u r doing futures, u can only get of from work at 6pm. is she taking advantage on me?
i hate to think bout this when she says "later u gotta take futures".

i aint a stupid monkey who doesnt have rational thinking skills.

string of exams. yuck. yuck. yuck. and yuck.

just like what a friend said to me "we can never run away from any exam in our lives". she worked as an auditor, exam exam exam.
now that she works in investment bank, also exam exam exam.

ciaoz. back to my vampire. 3 more epi and then gotta wait for the finale next week.

i was warned!

MYEG stock will be on focus someday... sometime...
I was told by 2 ppl that when the Parliament bills out the proposal on GST, the stock will fly high.
But that day has been postponed, go ask Mr Parliament why.
Anyway forget bout our GST implementation.
today it shined... and... i dunno whats the reason behind.

I was told in january and february and march to buy it. i didnt coz the price was too stagnant till 30 April 2010. sucks...




today it flew from 0.45 to 0.51 (highest) before settling down at 0.50 closing. ooh trust me, 6 cents gap within a day isnt that small. what if u have initially bought ... hmm ... lets say 10,000 shares. do the maths!

every morning on the way to the train station, i would listen to the news on the radio followed by the sponsor, " ... this news is brought to you by MYEG, malaysia e-service government provider. i pratically laughed at it coz the stock price trades in between 0.43 to 0.46. not more than that. i shall take back my laughter now.

i saw the chart and towards the closing trading hour, ppl sell 500,000 11 times consecutively. and some other ppl bought 500,000 13 times consecutively. something is up with it. ;)

but but i have no more money for this kinda shit. ;(