fly away

"hey im leaving 4 uk dis weekend. sorry that i didnt tell earlier was really busy cos it was last min decision. neeway, take care n hope 2 c u wen im back"

i was totally sad after reading it. there wasnt a single news bout my fren for 2 mths, and finally this is d sms i got. sad sad sad. so i called and we talked abit..... another library buddy is no longer with me. now i have ZERO library buddy..

last week was unexpected. i got a call from my frens in uk and in ohio.

just for dbsk.

*personally i think, fourth from d left looks like disband f4's jerry yan*
*i have watched a few videos during their promotions, and noticed that junsu must stand on d left, followed by micky, hero, max and u-know*
*they have funny and extraordinary names that always wanna make me lauch*
*oohhhlala, i think u-know is hot, the one on d right la, hes 1986 kiddo*


my sugarpie cousin is coming from oz just to attend dbsk concert on nov 24 in kl! ok. to make it not exaggerating, shes planning to come maybe 2 weeks earlier as planned to attend d concert. initially i didnt bother although i know they are coming. but then i was too free to the point, i youtube-d them. d interest on them gradually getting stronger. their dances are energetic and synchronize - i knew it when i attended dbsk or tvsfq or gods rising from the east or tohoshinki or dbsg (this 5 koreans members specialise in cool dances has many names to their group) last year's 14th july (yes, i dug for d ticket just now to get d date.. hmm i believe its suhui's bday). on that day, i got a call to attend a concert. i asked whose's, was told, unfortunely i didnt know who they were. when i was there, i took a glance at the posters hung around d stadium. i recalled " this guys are so gay coz they highlighted their hair like lala guys". we bought 1 litre of mineral water, and not allowed to bring in. so i gulpped it, and they gulpped too. we rushed (didnt run alrite, wasnt so crazy) as we were kinda late. it was free seating in the highest tier, so we chose the highest seat in d highest tier. below us were empty, but the tier below we occupied by majority of korean students studying here. after youtubing dbsk, i found out that dbsk's management really invest a big sum of money just to make the stage looks good and also on dbsk's costumes. i didnt expect there is a stage extension from the main stage to the other end of d stadium, it was better than leehom's stage extension in taiwan.

neeway, sugarpie cousin is asking me to get rm300+ tixs!! omg. am gonna b broke. i know its cheap for her! i might b throwing my rm300+ just to b close to d stage. no, i am not crazy over them. its because i just want the concert-atmosphere and concert-feel. sitting far away from d stage will not make me satisfy and i will complain as long as its still ringing in my head, i have learnt it during leehom's....


am crossing my fingers to get free tixc!!! if someone ask u whether u want d tic but u cant attend it, gimme! i will spend u a meal!

bla

the design of d house is nice. but in my opinion, the gate is a lil too big, which makes the front looks small. i like the victorian-era-lamps-beside-the-gate. unlike mine which are 2 white plain balls, boring-nya. i love seeing big-self-design houses. ok, who doest? there were times i drove around damansara heights just to see houses. i will bring along my camera to capture nice houses one day.





a talented guy that i really respect, stays in this town. what really captured my attention was the roundabouts!!



am feeling physically tired now. but because of insomnia, i know i will not fall asleep although lying on d bed. dark cicles around my eyes are gonna be visible SOON! i dont want to be like wuwu's panda eyes!!

i hate myself.

i wish that somebody kidnap me while am in d nite market.
then several days later, suffocate me
n stuff me into a sports bag.
and leave it at a noticable place.
i hate myself.
why God doesnt wanna take away peeps who hate themselves?
why He wants ppl to suffer?
why He doesnt wanna fulfill my ideal death?
(well its not being kidnap la, my ideal death is something else)
frankly speaking
there were several times i wanna end my life
by strangling myself and suffocate using pillow
while having difficulty breathing
a reminder saying "u havent accomplished ur missions"
so i released myself
coughed
breathed for air.

i pity Nurin. i still dont believe that the dead girl pic is her. it looks different. the mouths, eyes r different, but not d noses. however DNA says it all.

this week.

last week's lunch!

mon :: mcdees' banana pie and apple pie
tuesday :: mcdees fries
wed :: mcchicken, fries, coke
fri :: 2 hashbrowns

i am devoted to mcdees. i havent been eating mcdees since sept last year, coz i was totally broke. i gotta used my allowances, which is not much, for my tuition with a group of frens. am glad i pass that subject. i vowed that i need to pass it no matter what. because it was so sickening to drive to fren's place using federal highway at 6pm and only could reach home at 10pm. sickening shit really. and i hate that place.

i have a serious insomnia illness i guess. i had 2 hours of sleep at d wee hours on wed before dragging myself out from the bed. i was damn pissed as soon as my alarm rang coz i only managed to sleep properly minutes b4 it rang. after d lecturer dismissed us, i woudnt stand due to my headache, and thus went to d library to take a nap - 90 minutes!!! and again today, i had headache, worse that wed's. went to library, couldnt sleep properly, thus flagging a cab, and headed home. took 5 hours of sleep. i can afford to hail a cab to go home now provided that i dun spend my money on mcdees happy meal set everyday.


i have class on every sat.. sighhhh. kinda tired having only one day of rest in a week and this gonna prolong till april!!

why did he bring up d question??

devastated but thankful.

i passed a piece of paper to my dad, written my subjects fees on it. feeling insecured with the number, as it is claimed to bring bad luck among the chinese community. i am not a superstitious to some extend, however the number 4400 makes me even wanna study harder. am TOO afraid that TheMighty will fail my final year despite having to study very extremely hard. it may happen. it may not. ooh, my final year, come on!!!

dad :: are u really serious with ur studies? (as he was looking at d paper)
me :: yes, of course! (his words really upset me greatly)

i dont know why he questioned with that? puzzled. upset. dissapointed. maybe he is upset after i have burnt 243 pounds last week. lol.

i have put my soul and heart in d exam 5 mths ago. i have studied consistently from sept 2006 to may 2007. i stayed in the library for at least 4 days in a week, at least 5 hours of studies in a day, ok maybe 30 minutes perday in d library to chat with frens and luncheon. i am not bragging or whateva shit, but its d truth. call me a nerd, i dont care! call me a studious student, i dont mind! i just dont understand why he didnt see my mundane activities for 9 months. i didnt complain during that duration, coz all i want is to get thru. all my hard work i did, getting thru my 2nd year clean and cut, but the end results, he isnt satisfied. its a very rare occasion that a student studying u0l will get above 70+ in ALL subjects. its even difficult to hit 71. dont believe me? check out NST or STAR newspaper ystday's or today's, ATC u0l - LLB results released which covered a whole full page, u will see majority that hit A is at 70. SELDOM examiners generously reward 70 above. a fren took LLB UOL said "second upper class is like first class in whateva courses". agree.

back to d story. i didnt get A. just B and 3C's. yah, i know i may be dumb to some coz of the un-impressive grades. i am upset more than anybody else. however, i gotta b satisfied with it, what else can i ask for????!!!! anyhow, he shouldnt asked me that question. if i wasnt serious, i would have break my guts and tell him that i would like to pursue another course which is easier 2 yrs back.

back to history :: after pre-uni, i dont know what to pursue, so he told me to take that course. i blindly followed his advice, google about this school, its reputation, its ranking in guardian uk. i didnt know that the ranking is close to cambridgeoxfordsoboring. am glad that i took his advice, although i dont say "THANK YOU, DAD" to him, but deep down in my heart i really appreciate what he has done. he knows lse is tough, and yet .............. am speechless.

on the other hand, am glad that he asked me that question. it has awaken me.

"wake up, no more summer holz, its over. get back to ur bookworm mode."

so i took out my notes, and tried to read, ooh gosh, its difficult to digest the knowledge.