i hate myself.

i wish that somebody kidnap me while am in d nite market.
then several days later, suffocate me
n stuff me into a sports bag.
and leave it at a noticable place.
i hate myself.
why God doesnt wanna take away peeps who hate themselves?
why He wants ppl to suffer?
why He doesnt wanna fulfill my ideal death?
(well its not being kidnap la, my ideal death is something else)
frankly speaking
there were several times i wanna end my life
by strangling myself and suffocate using pillow
while having difficulty breathing
a reminder saying "u havent accomplished ur missions"
so i released myself
coughed
breathed for air.

i pity Nurin. i still dont believe that the dead girl pic is her. it looks different. the mouths, eyes r different, but not d noses. however DNA says it all.