i passed a piece of paper to my dad, written my subjects fees on it. feeling insecured with the number, as it is claimed to bring bad luck among the chinese community. i am not a superstitious to some extend, however the number 4400 makes me even wanna study harder. am TOO afraid that TheMighty will fail my final year despite having to study very extremely hard. it may happen. it may not. ooh, my final year, come on!!!
dad :: are u really serious with ur studies? (as he was looking at d paper)
me :: yes, of course! (his words really upset me greatly)
i dont know why he questioned with that? puzzled. upset. dissapointed. maybe he is upset after i have burnt 243 pounds last week. lol.
i have put my soul and heart in d exam 5 mths ago. i have studied consistently from sept 2006 to may 2007. i stayed in the library for at least 4 days in a week, at least 5 hours of studies in a day, ok maybe 30 minutes perday in d library to chat with frens and luncheon. i am not bragging or whateva shit, but its d truth. call me a nerd, i dont care! call me a studious student, i dont mind! i just dont understand why he didnt see my mundane activities for 9 months. i didnt complain during that duration, coz all i want is to get thru. all my hard work i did, getting thru my 2nd year clean and cut, but the end results, he isnt satisfied. its a very rare occasion that a student studying u0l will get above 70+ in ALL subjects. its even difficult to hit 71. dont believe me? check out NST or STAR newspaper ystday's or today's, ATC u0l - LLB results released which covered a whole full page, u will see majority that hit A is at 70. SELDOM examiners generously reward 70 above. a fren took LLB UOL said "second upper class is like first class in whateva courses". agree.
back to d story. i didnt get A. just B and 3C's. yah, i know i may be dumb to some coz of the un-impressive grades. i am upset more than anybody else. however, i gotta b satisfied with it, what else can i ask for????!!!! anyhow, he shouldnt asked me that question. if i wasnt serious, i would have break my guts and tell him that i would like to pursue another course which is easier 2 yrs back.
back to history :: after pre-uni, i dont know what to pursue, so he told me to take that course. i blindly followed his advice, google about this school, its reputation, its ranking in guardian uk. i didnt know that the ranking is close to cambridgeoxfordsoboring. am glad that i took his advice, although i dont say "THANK YOU, DAD" to him, but deep down in my heart i really appreciate what he has done. he knows lse is tough, and yet .............. am speechless.
on the other hand, am glad that he asked me that question. it has awaken me.
"wake up, no more summer holz, its over. get back to ur bookworm mode."
so i took out my notes, and tried to read, ooh gosh, its difficult to digest the knowledge.
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hey girl! don't be upset and devastated! there are a lot of parents that do not know how to encourage and cheer their children. A lot of them are not satisfied with their children's results despite the children has done their best.
But nevertheless, they still love us by providing us with education as much as they can. Sometimes we are not in their shoes, we do not know how they think. As long as you've done your best, I believe one day they'll understand.
There are a lot of parents that do not know how to express themselves. They thought that by asking questions like these are some sort of reminder. We all know it's hard to earn money and all. But I'm glad that you're thankful too.
Anyways, just thought of cheering you up! Take care my 17 years of friendship friend! Miss you!! Hope to see you soon :) :) HUGS
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