same person in my dreams.

i have been having dreams which involve the same person for 2 consecutive nights. if you watch msia or sgpore shows, you will know our very own veteran actress, madam lai ming. i have been watching her in tv since my primary school days.

Anyway, whats up with me and her? Well, i dreamt bout her, she resembles my late grandma in a way. In the 1st dream, i had a nice chat with her in my house. Apparently she is my grandmother, and obviously i stay wit her under the same roof. I held her palm tightly when she wanted to stand up and i smiled broadly. I m not sure whether i smiled when i was sleeping. It may happen. Possible. In the 2nd dream, she was just a lady, giving out candies samples(exactly like roc candies i saw in perth) in supermarket or somewhere along the shops corridor. i was very joyful when i saw her wearing an apron and handling out the samples.

i woke up and smiled. i miss my grandma.

;(

why am i doing these?

logged into one of the cameras in cedarpoint. there was a marching band going on minutes ago. cedar is open again. i miss that place. hope someday i will be there on alumni nite.

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i was showering just now and said to myself

"i over-worked for my team!"

i made a list of tasks after getting out from shower, and yupz, i really over-worked for my team. i can see the delegation of tasks are bias!

i have so many options to go if i were to leave the team, but why am i still here?

hmmmmm. i have set timeframe thou.

;)

a fren proposed to open a biz. this biz requires no shop, no inventories, and if profit is made, i dunno how is the profit-sharing will be.

lemme reveal it
...............
..........
.....
...

become like-remisier-in-a-team. hahaha. we are hardcore gamblers come to think about it. firstly, we need rm100,000 as a deposit to pump in as a remisier. therefore employed now, self-employed later.

i really dun wanna stay in msia with the huru-hara in the politics arena. brunei will be good, but there isnt any such thing call BRUNEI STOCK EXCHANGE!

;)

====================================

whats his name?

no idea why suddenly i think about perez.
the name perez.

i was thinking bout perez hilton moment ago.
then i recall recall and recall that i know a guy call something perez.
i tried to think whats his first name.
think. think think.
took me 5 mins.
i wanted to write here that
"sooheng, whats that guy's name".

ooh nvm. i could recall his name before i type the first letter in this post.
well,
hes a jerk. lol.
he really pisses me off each time we chat in msn.
i will end up block him. after weeks, i unblock him. then block him.
then deleted his name in fb. he added back. i deleted again.
the last conversation i had wit him was me commenting on his gf (forgotten from where). being too matured for him, and he got angry.
lol. i dont care neeway.

okok. i dunno why i was thinking bout perez.
damn out wei my brain.

its june in 1.5hours time. will be alone in office till friday. and i shall have a good time finishing my reports while attending lame clients' calls and doing the most unless thing on earth ie filling shit. how i wish i can wipe my shit wit those papers. i hate to file everyday. its not the filling that u punch holds into the stack of papers and just insert in the file. i gotta insert in respective clients' divider. see which page needs to be replaced wit the new printed ones. sounds fun or not?

a guy has sexy lips.

yes he has it.
i kept on looking at it.
and yes he has that lips that are suitable for females.
surely do.
he isnt gay, i m very sure.

i nearly had heart attack.

my handphone rang and boss's name appeared. words ran into my mind "omg, wat on earth did i do on fri? wat kinda fcuku mistake i have made again? i guess nth went wrong coz i checked zillion times on my orders"

me :: hello?
boss :: blablablabla ... just to call if client xxx's orders done?
me :: lalalalala... no, none of xxx's orders done coz he didnt wanna revise his prices! i asked him twice .... blalalalala
boss :: lalalalala. ok lalalala

phewww. i tot something major happened to me and my all-day-alone-at-work-last-fri.

sad to say that my work is really terrified. one major ass mistake made, no turning back. if the mistake is soooooo significant like it weighs rm50k, gone kaboom. management will fire u and you cant work in this same industry anymore. blacklisted from securities commission and nobody ll hire you eventhough u cry like a river.

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my fridge has too many bars of chocolates. the same packages i see 2 years ago. nobody touches it. i aint a die hard fan of it. i really dont care on the expiring dates therefore i shall feed myself with all these choco before m off to somewhere during next yr's easter to get a whole new bunch of cocoas. cocoa doesnt expire i guess.

----------------------------------------------------

it has been a tiring weekend for me.
tmw is m.o.n.d.a.y.

fated but not fated!

after a week of questioning myself and asking ppl around for opinions,

i may conclude that i m sticking to my current job.

by hook or by crook
in this love-hate relationship
with sweat, blood, tears

i.must.hold.on.

hold on for as long as i need to. not as long as i want.
i repeat. as long as i need to.

majority said 'go get transfer'.
but a particular friend of mine managed to convince me over lunch yesterday not to get transfer. just wait and see how things go within 6 mths, she said. shes a very wise friend, so her words do make sense. i will be occupied for 6 mths, therefore i will not be ACTIVELY searching for job. m too lazy d.

and i phoned HR HOD again for his verdict. i asked him what is my chances like if i wanna get transfer. he is too good and too nice to help me again to come up with reasons-to-tell-boss. one of the reasons is 'you go to temple, pray, hold the sticks and ask god to build up ur guts'. he could read my mind 'i know you still dont have guts. if you tell your boss, surely she will teaaar you apart'. hes funnny. he laughed when he picked up my call and said 'hello, siu chier' before i could greet him. he also mentioned to me just now on the 3rd vacant position in other department. haha. i didnt drop any hints last week that i wanna get out from my job scope badly.

so yeah. please put a smile on my face by giving encouragement words if you ever hear me whinning bout me-wanna-get-out-from-this-job.

from zero commitment to plentiful.

m going broke.

insurances.
unit trusts.
upcoming holiday expenses.
long term investments.
short term investments.

i need to sit down one fine day and draw up how much these babies are forking out from my bank account.

make sure i become rich in many many decades to come with all these commitments.

how many thousand days more am i living with economy rice or food for lunch?

*counting downnnnnnnnnnnn*