dont give up!

*that girl wasnt me, i dont know who was she*

*d images' quality not bad rite, i was walking aimlessly, waving my phone to snap rubbish pics like above while waiting for a fren. its once in a blue white moon that i go to d main block aka underground. so just snapped for fun la*


its like 4am now. i dont know why am i here making this silly-reflection-stuffs. i suppose to study for my test. its just a test, u wanna take, take it, u dont want, then u are on holz a week earlier, that kinda test la. my lazy lecturer showed us the questions (it will be exactly d same questions and figures in exam) 2 weeks ago, but his solutions arent helping me right now. i need to study from scratch, pulled out my year 1 subject material just to see a basic profit and loss account ie less cost of sales add opening stock add purchases less closing stock. i was figuring out how to do d cashflows for more than 6 hours. bingo as a result! a day to go, and 3 questions more i need to prepare.

everything has changed.

this is not something that i should be proud and announce right here in this stupid place, but yeah, 'ribena' is here now after i missed 2 cycles of period. i was like so happy when i noticed it. no am aint crazy. confirm am not pregnant.

am sick of swallowing tablets. today marks the 14th day and in these 14 days, i drink a litre of water more everyday, than what i usually did. sien. 14x8=112 tablets have visited my body. i need to plan what time to eat my meals, give allowance for spaces in my stomach to accomodate the water. super sien.

today's dinner, no carbohydrate for me, only vege and meat i served for myself. i hate when ppl laugh at me for being out of shape. i guess they never analyse their bodies, but they do it for other ppl. i never laugh at ppl putting on weights. biased-world. i am trying my best to avoid and stop thinking-bout-ooh-no-let-me- eat-this-this-is-yummy-i-will-take-another-one. i said to myself that i wont eat rice for dinner in a week. i wonder how far can i achieve it. wait and see! i am seriously hungry while typing this. sighhhhhhhhhhhhhh. goodbye to the old eating habit. i dont want my doc to nag at me in the next appointment.

although my n95 isnt original, but the sound system is clear and able to blast extremly loud while playing d mp3s. i am starting to enjoy the camera.

i want to be a lil more daring. i wanna travel all by myself just like cousin's friend. my dad was like "ya, good, go and book ur ticket now". i dare if ppl tell me, but cash is all i need. i still have the mentality that money is everything in this world that can make me a happier person.

this is extremly brave!

my cousin's fren origin from philippines, studying in perth, flew to bangkok 2 weeks back then flew here last sun. omg. u will never gonna believe an 18 yrs old girl who hasnt been to msia in her life, managed to get her way from lcct to my house door step. she took multiple transport modes. bus from lcct to kl central, then jumped into lrt, stop at the nearest station from here, hailed a cab. bingo! *clap hands*, she was here right at the gate! all my cousin did was only gave her my house addy . i havent gone as far as her, my last-further-destination was to boonlay's mrt, sgpore. and the station was superb duper busy like there is no tomorrow. you can try sitting down right outside the ticketing machine.

Fong Lye Restaurant.

we wanted a try new place to eat, therefore found this restaurant written taiwan restaurant bla bla bla, and leehom's name appear in my mind. alrite alrite. i should scrap off some music-stuffs-and-its-driving-me-crazy in me. Its situated in The Gardens, 3rd floor (highest floor la), corner lot, beside rock corner music store.

:: tried 2 spoons ::

:: sweet potato isnt my cup of tea but this is nice, too some ::



:: it comes with rice and a small portion of side dishes identical to the noodle dish ::




:: this is mine, the noodle is slightly nicer than spagetti, this dish comes with potato-carrot-onion soup, used to drink that last time at home ::

i will choose fong lye to kimgary. :)

a heavy sigh with lesson to be learnt.

i will not forgive myself for taking this kinda unskilled pictures. lesson learnt :: pratice and play with the camera beforehand as it was fren's camera.






i am definitely happy with this, both of them were playing with the balloons with their tummies, by the way, they are damn fit, so not much of fats on their pacs. thinking bout this pic below, i dreamt them while i had a nap in d library coz was very sleepy due to 2 hours of sleep the night before. ystday i had a nightmare, not the usual snake wrapping me in a car. i was married in an arranged-marriage. no idea who he was eventhough it was after the wedding day, cant recall his face, but someone slightly above the average looking guys. nice height. nice house compound. as far as i can remember, i talked to him very lil ie i told him to pull the thread dangling from my clothes.



******************************************************************
i feel so much better now. less panting after climbing the stairs. the doctor's words were true ie i will feel 50% better after 7 days. :) heartbeats beating at 92 perminute. but i will have to break a huge tablet, half of my last finger, into half.

it was a bomb.

the concert was amazing. nice seat i have but its kinda far from the main stage. the rela members and the organiser's staffs were extreeeeeeeemely annoying coz they dont allow my seat area to stand up on the ground, stand on the floor, cant use camera. a korean girl was caught too many times for using d camera and as far as i saw, she was given a last warning. some lil korean kids are crazy over dbsk, around 12 years old?

i am so angry when i reviewed back my pics after d concert. i set some pics into anti-shake before i snap, but i ter-press some stuffs, and d pics turned blur. so angry. yunho was like in a car and i got a nice angle and distance and he looked into the came, and its blur, moreover i stood on the chairrrrrrrr, nobody was blocking meeeeee. pics of micky sang brian mcknight's one last cry and its my fav song, perfect distance, and its blur. angry angry. bloody angry la. i snapped quite a number of jaejoong's (coz cousin was so crazy of him, she nearly cried when jaejoong and other members ended with a bang in one of d songs) but i quickly put down the camera coz i dun wanna be caught. as the result, most of d pics are the grass, the chair, and ppl's boobs. like some pics in clubs. not much of junsu's coz he seldom walked at the 'extended-stage'. i cant even spot changmin. each performed as individual too. everybody was so high during 'O' and 'balloon' song. lots of media taking photographs, fans were cooperative, no mosquitos bit me, and as usual, creative props in d concert. it was said there will be a huge aquarium, but i looked everywhere, no aquarium around. but a monster machine makes the bubles and undersea effects.

:: monster machine ::

:: preparation ::

:: dbsk will be swimming like octopus ::


lots of korean fans attended. no, they didnt fly purposely from korea. i guess most of them r from ampang, coz i read somewhere b4 that there are 4000 korean population in ampang and there are a number of korean restaurants.


should i sing dbsk's hug - english song (they have hug in korean, english and japanese) for an audition. i was thinking to apply lyricist/ composer category, but i have zero talent, and was thinking to steal beethoven's or mozart's piece. shy. nervous. talent-less. these are what i have in me. i just wish that a film director spot me in public and offer me to act. just like that idiot who was popular overnight. ;) or a music manager spot me in internet just like che'nelle's case. stop living in alice in wonderland la.

naughty hormones in my body. i hate u.

again my tears flowed when the doctor consulted me, fyi i have crybaby personality. i calculated (mind me, i just like to calculate silly petty stuffs), that i will be swallowing 240 tablets in a month, 8 tablets each day. one for stabilize my heart beats (its still 120 perminute, if i play sports now, i guess it will be like 150), one for calcium another for ... forgotten. my case is unusual ie i put on weights which i am 1 out of 10 ppl put weights. 2 doctors asked me to watch my diet, coz there is a very slim tiny chance to lose weight. the medicines will decrease the thyroid metabolisme. thyroid hormones will be taking away my calsium, therefore milk is essential for me now. but then milk makes my weight increase. health is so troublesome neeway, i can eat cabbage, brocolli, cauliflower and turnip. yippie. but then a big huge ass no to seaweed. omg, my sushi!!!!! whateva i eat, will be small portion now. i am sad. almost all ppl said seaweed is good for thyroid. never listen to ppl until u get consultations from qualified doctors.

i laughed when d doc said "just watch ur diet, if not u will be a cubby girl". my mind quickly think bout humpy dumpy.

after doctor clarified some signs of thyroid, he said that i might got it 6-12 months ago. i was so surprised with this as my body didnt show any dumb signs to it.

this month consultation and medical fees is crazy. let me count,

ear infection consultation and medicine = 160
blood test = 70
this consultation = 220
medicine = 162.50

lazy to get my calculator. tired la walking even for few steps.

and and i get shock easily. very very easily.

scenario 1 - i sat next to the phone. and it rang suddenly. i really jumped up. and there goes faster heartbeats.

scenario 2 - i saw some not-worth-living-in-this-world-fugly-snake in an email and d newspaper, again it beats faster.

scenario 3 - bro threw his temper by banging and closing his door, i was downstairs holding some papers, i jumped and hands tremored and my papers flew. this is really really bad for me.

scenario 4 - i was watching tv in the hall, out of nowhere, suddenly dad talked loudly in the kitchen, i held my chest.

scenario 5 - watching dvds especially action or whateva, one minute the scene is quiet, another minute the scene involves parangs/knives/guns, heartbeats jumped. consistent sound is preferred.

all these petty-stuffs-that-occurs-out-of-sudden that i could managed to deal with last time, but not now. am like having some 80yearsold grandma's heart.