izzit really not meant for me?

dad came home and ask me "uncle loh is gonna give away his cocker spaniel, shall we take it?, if not he will leave it in spca."

then suddenly i felt a 'piece-of-invisible-cold-wind" smash my face.

quickly i question myself "what if it happen again? and d doggie is brown in colour!" i have played with d dog during d entire dinner in uncle loh's house.

3 brown doggies of mine, firstly was brown dashuan puppy- dave - ran out and nowhere can be found. it was my very own dog. secondly, came a cocker spaniel puppy- ginger which my dad bought from his fren. my dad was confident that ginger will obediently sit by the ajar gate while he walked towards his car to take something. and there goes my ginger, ran out of d house and finally a bastard hit-and-run her. my golden retriever biggie dog - big boy was an extremently well-trained dog. he will not shit and urine in d compound. he would bark when he couldnt hold his bladders. he saw a bitch, and he ran from d house, hit by a car. the owner came down and apologized. i wasnt around when it happened. as far as i remembered, dad brought home big boy and i didnt wanna accept him although he is a hugable buddy. dad introduced me "big boy, this is amanda". he really said that but i didnt really bother to play with him after d introduction. it took me a week to finally accept him and touch him. my neighbour even bought a female golden retriever to make-mate with my doggie. when they approached us, it happen after his death.

my mum isnt a dog lover, she gives heavy sighs when she sees a dog in d compound. but as months went by, she was comfortable having d dogs, and could take a branch and play with their furs. i would like silently hide in a corner to see it.


we know that its jinx to have dogs in this family. but...... i need some living things to accompany me.